A few months ago, I was lamenting my birthday.
See the true joy on my face? Oh, Brian and I share a birthday, by the way.
I have had a huge list in my head since I was a teenager of everything I wanted to get accomplished before this birthday and pretty much the only thing I’ve done off that list is gotten married. So, I was depressed because I felt like I had done nothing with my life. Today, I’m lamenting the fact that I am as young as I am. Amazing how the grass isn’t truly greener anywhere.
I’ve been saved for 21 years. That sounds like forever. It’s not, really, but it is a long time. However, that doesn’t mean anybody listens to my advice. I listened to someone this morning share some things on her heart and I had so much I wanted to share with her and encourage and exhort her with… but didn’t feel I should because of the age difference. She should be giving me advice, not vice versa! So, where do you draw the line between “setting an example,” like Paul told Timothy, and respecting your elders and keeping your mouth shut? And it’s not just with the situation this morning; there are a few things I’d like to offer my opinion on… but don’t feel I should because I’m “so young and inexperienced.” In reality, I’ve been saved longer than some of the people I’d like to talk with and I’ve also had some pretty unique ministry opportunities that would actually help people out. But, I keep my mouth shut. And it’s driving me insane.
Last night at church, a missionary family talked about their ministry. Afterwards, I went up and thanked the wife for sharing. She gives me hope that I’ll make it in Peru! They’re working in Niger and have nine (count ’em – 9!!) children, the youngest just barely a year old. I think I’ll be okay outside of Lima. 🙂 But, I realized that I cannot wait for the day when Brian and I will come home on furlough and some young lady will walk up to me and say, “I can do it because you did it!” I want to be that inspiring woman. I’m not there yet. I feel so far from it, too.
Hard to believe two months ago I felt old. Today, I feel like I’m fresh out of high school. That’s not a good feeling. If you’ve read my “Who Am I” you’ve seen that I hide the fact that I’m a PK. I think I’m going to start hiding my age, too.