Tomorrow is my first Mother’s Day. Or, second if you count last year when my baby was busy growing. I certainly count last year, so yes – tomorrow is my second Mother’s Day.
I have the best Mom. She’s been such a great example to me about what it means to be a mother. I was flipping through all the pictures I took while in the States and I realized (a bit too late) that I took hardly any pictures of my mother with Elena while we were there. What a stupid mistake. I think I just kept thinking, “I’ll get them later.” Or, “I don’t want to bother her with lots of pictures.” And now… too few too late.
I can’t change the past, though, so… moving on.
I still can’t believe God chose to bless me with a baby. Even tonight, I yelled at Brian for something stupid and I realized, yet again, what a horrible sinner I am. How could God deem me worthy to raise a child? I certainly have a long ways to go.
Elena has taught me a lot, though. She’s taught me
- a lot more about patience (I’d say “all about patience” but that would be a lie….).
- that it’s okay to have spit-up on your shirt.
- that a clean house is secondary to cuddle time with a baby.
- that I really can wait to satisfy my wants or needs – she come first.
- that I need to cherish the time with my husband because “alone moments” are sometimes few and far in between.
- that as much as I want or need sleep, I can live without it. At least for a few days.
- that sometimes, it’s okay to just cry.
- that sometimes, it’s okay to just want to be held.
- what the term “belly laughs” really means.
- and most importantly — so much about the love of God and how He loves us unconditionally. We have done nothing to deserve His love and yet just look at how much He loves us! When Elena was first born, she didn’t have to do a thing but spit up on me, poop all over her clothes, and cry all night for me to love her unconditionally. What I’ve done is far worse, and yet God still loves me. Amazing.