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Music is an integral part of my life (and Brian’s). We put all the CDs we owned on an external harddrive before coming here and it took up about half of it. We love music. We are constantly finding new music and music is almost always on in our house. I found a song on a new album that has become my anthem lately. I could listen to it over and over and over, much to Brian’s chagrin. He reminded me the other day in the car as we listened to it for the third time that trip, “You’re gonna play it too much and then I’ll hate it!” He’s probably right.

We are going through some stuff right now where we feel like God is so quiet towards us. I wonder sometimes if He’s even listening anymore. He’s so quiet. We cry and pour out our hearts and pound heaven’s door for answers and yet… nothing. Silence. God promised wisdom to those who asked for it. God promised He’d answer if we call. And yet – He’s not answering. He’s not giving wisdom. He’s just.. so quiet. I need Him to do something! I need Him to answer! A word! Something! We need direction!

And then two things happened. The first was this song that I’m going to post. The second was a study by Beth Moore. This is the second time I’ve done her “Esther” study, but the first time that I’m doing it with friends (last time I did it alone). I feel like I’m living parts of Esther. Not everything, but parts of it. Especially the part where she waited. She waited for three days before approaching the king and then she waited for a second feast before presenting her request. Beth brought out the points that sometimes when we wait, God is working the hardest. The longer we wait, the harder God is working. We need to wait on HIM, not on the THING. If we wait on HIM, our strength will be renewed. If we wait on the THING, we’ll lose hope and strength. I need to wait on HIM, even if that means He’s silent for another year. I know deep down He’s there; I know He hasn’t left me. Something big must be going on because He’s sure taking His sweet time getting back to us with answers that are crucial to our lives!

And then this song. I stumbled across it while listening through a new Passion album we got. I stopped it and relistened and then just cried as the words hit home. I can’t make it through this song without crying and being overcome with emotion these days. We are in a giant shadow right now — but “We will not fear! For we are resting in the shadow of the cross.” This is one of those songs during one of those times in life when every time I hear it, I want to raise my hands to heaven and just rejoice in His faithfulness. He’s not gone; He’s hiding me.

The song is done by “Passion” and the rap in the middle is done by our favorite rapper, Lecrae. Look him up; he’s awesome. His lyrics are amazing and his testimony is phenomenal. Here’s the video; below you’ll find the lyrics. Enjoy. Happy Sunday!

Verse 1
Life is full of light and shadow
O the joy and O the sorrow
O the sorrow

And yet will He bring
Dark to light
And yet will He bring
Day from night

When shadows fall on us
We will not fear
We will remember

When darkness falls on us
We will not fear
We will remember

When all seems lost
When we’re thrown and we’re tossed
We’ll remember the cost
We’re resting in the
Shadow of the cross

With every breath I take, every heart beat
Sunrise and the moon lights in the dark street
Every glance, every dance, every note of a song
All a gift undeserved that I shouldn’t have known
Every moment I lie, Every moment I covet
I’m deserving to die, I’m earning your judgment
I, without the cross there’s only condemnation
If Jesus wasn’t executed there’s no celebration
So in times that are good, in times that are bad
For any time I’ve had it all I will be glad
And I will boast in the cross, I boast in His name
I will boast in the sunshine, boast in His reign (rain)
What’s my life if it’s not praising You
Another dollar in my bank account of vain pursuit, I do
That count my life as any value or precious at all
Let me finish my race, let me answer Your call